Week 12 Storytelling: The Sprightly Con

A sprightly tailor once was called upon by the great Macdonald to craft for him a pair of trews. Such sport was commonplace at Saddell castle that Macdonald added to the task a challenge - if the tailor could make the trews by night inside the church, his reward would be great indeed. For there were tales of a monster lurking beneath the stone hearth of the church, and all who saw it fled in fear.

The sprightly tailor was not afraid and undertook this challenge with relish. He assured the king not to worry for his undertaking, and the king assured him the reward would be vast. And so the sprightly tailor took his work into the church at sundown, and set to sewing at the beset of night.

Time passed well as the tailor went about his work with a happy hum. Yet then the ground shook. The very stone beneath his feet trembled in fright. With a mighty yawn like a bellow suddenly there appeared a giant head from beneath the stone!

The sprightly tailor did not pause in his task, though those large eyes stared straight through him. Nor did he jump as the monster opened it’s massive maw and questioned, “Can I finally leave this smelly church?”

The tailor replied with a slight chuckle. “Surely it can’t have been all as bad as that - weren’t you the one who wanted to nap?”

“Perhaps in a glade,” the giant protest, sitting up further and freeing more of its body from the stone flooring. “But the graveyard is below us. I will smell like the dead for weeks! Then how am I to catch a bride?”

“Don’t worry my friend,” the sprightly tailor interjected. “Once we split the reward money from this job you won’t have to worry about catching one. You’ll be able to buy all the brides you want!”

“Then let us hurry this up,” the giant concluded, “so that I may wash and return home. How much longer have you to work?”

“Not long at all.” And such was true - the sprightly tailor had long ago mastered the art of a strong, long stitch. It was nearly imperceptible to the eye, and held out as well as a proper stitch. The man had used it long in his quest of gaining gold for impossible tasks.

So the two partners sat quietly, until the night was nearing it’s end and the trews were completed. “Now for authenticity,” the sprightly tailor instructed. “We must convince them of the haunted nature of this church, for then the rewards will be greater. Chase me from the church as if you were a monster, and when I have reached Saddell castle give up chase and leave.”

The giant nodded agreement. Taking a deep breath, he let out a mighty roar such as caused the tailor to jump. And then the chase was on - the two partners running for their livelihoods as the dawn neared. When the sprightly tailor was safe inside the castle the giant bellowed as if denied his dinner and hit the castle with such force that the imprint of his hand remains to this day. As the cock crew, the giant withdrew.

And so the sprightly tailor was rewarded generously, and went on to split the riches with his partner, making them both wealthy men.

(Iconic moment from one of the best con movies ever made - Oceans Eleven. Web source)

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Notes: So I wanted to have some fun with this. In the original the giant is actually a monster, but I felt this was honestly just too perfect a set up. After all, getting paid to sew clothes in a haunted church on a dare? Piece of cake con right there!

Bib: "The Sprightly Tailor" from Celtic Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacobs (1892). Web source.