Sunday, September 7, 2014

Week 4 Reading Diary: Twenty-Two Goblins

Reading Diary Week 4 – Twenty-Two Goblins

  • Background info on what a goblin is defined as in this tale was really helpful
  • These names are great.
  • Homage by fruit? Do they stay in the treasure trove and rot?
  • I hate monkeys
  • Hah! You never throw away seemingly useless gifts in fairytales
  • Wow, honorable king
  • Sounds like sound reasoning to me
  • Is the fig tree where all the fruit comes from
  • Because kings and royalty can totally sneak with no one noticing
  • Wait, you agree with that little info? Really? No questions as to why the monk needs a hung corpse?
  • Kay, creepy Goblin
  • Wait, he wants to hang in the tree? Really?
  • Beauty is never a good thing, honestly, worst gift ever
  • Whoops
  • Ewww! He slept in her ashes?
  • Wait, what? How is burning a child appropriate punishment?
  • I don’t care if you can resurrect him – that’s still despicable!
  • Because you don’t need any TRAINING with this, huh? Oh no, I can just figure this out on my own.
  • Made of gold? Crap, that can’t end well
  • Seriously? Gosh you men are so petty
  • Wait, so a lover ought to sleep with ashes and corpses like a zombie? Ugh, I’m having second thoughts about reading this one.
  • What? You’re stubborn and sexy, so I’m gonna give you another riddle. What are these people on?
  • Oh no, Moonlight is going to have a hard time
  • Uh-oh, she’s a brat too. Never a good omen
  • This sounds like Aladdin – you’ve got a magic carpet? Yes – this one gets my daughter, everyone else go home!
  • Uh-oh, three husbands all in one day. Moonlight’s going to be busy
  • Fight for her!
  • Oh, quest. Okay then
  • That was the most understated fight I have ever heard
  • Does she get to choose? Oh, of course not, she gets to set the standards but nothing else
  • Will his head really split into a hundred pieces, or is that just a convenient way to get out his grasp?
  • ??? Goblin is racking up the sarcasm methinks
  • Yay people. Pilgrimage to bathe? Weird
  • Haha, Spotless had White – clever
  • Yo idiot, chill and eat, I got this. - Thanks Daddy, I love you! And I love food!
  • Unannounced, unplanned trip to a goddess? Yeah, bad idea
  • Idea? Oh no
  • OH
  • NO
  • BAD IDEA
  • WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
  • GOD ACHILLES*, YOU ARE NOT HELPING!!!
  • Oh don’t do that too! Why don’t you go become queen of the Amazons or something? A man does not define you!
  • So many issues with this story
  • Oh finally, a woman with sense.
  • Goodness? Good to kill yourself because your men died? REALLY?
  • How do you make that kind of mistake? Did they look that similar? If so, ewwww.
  • EW EW EW EW!!! NOT ARKANSAW NO THANK YOU YUCK!!!
  • My stories make you tired because you have to run back, so let me tell you another to help wake you up! This Goblin’s a sadist
  • Is everyone a Brahman in this? Good grief
  • Turtle!
  • Oh, I’m too good for this crap – I’m eldest, do what I say!
  • Wait, is the eldest not going to go to hell too?
  • I am a food connoisseur – I can’t touch a turtle!
  • Same argument for women and cotton? Really?
  • You’re gonna lose the turtle
  • They really had to go to the king for this?
  • Isn’t that an insult, not eating the food given by a king?
  • Pleased? Who cares! It’s food and tastes good – you eat
  • Oh, she smells like a goat! I can’t take it! Take her away I’m gonna die!
  • These kids are wimps
  • Wait, why does it matter if she drank goats milk?
  • Okay then, precious princess Pea
  • God, these men are the wimpiest men. How are they praised for this?
  • Haha, they’re cursed because they forgot the turtle. Turtle curse!
  • Cotton? Okay, fair enough
  • What dreadful creatures? I thought it was just the goblin
  • Hah, Lotus eater city
  • Oh no, don’t accept a daughter prettier than nymphs of heaven – always bad
  • Oh no, definitely bad to be prettier than the god of love
  • No, no one is good enough for my perfect princess!
  • I want a man of science – yeah but – SCIENCE!
  • Why is your name Linguist if – oh, that’s why
  • Oh, don’t marry the necromancer. Bad idea. Why do necromancers not have a bad stigma in these tales?
  • She needs to go to a REAL man – duh!
  • Oh yeah, because truly resolute heroes never get discouraged. Right.
  • Yep, Goblin is totally just trolling him now
  • My enemies dead? I’d be content too
  • Love Love Love- sounds like a 60’s song
  • Wait – she got taken out by a flower petal?
  • Hah, he’s got a vampire for a wife
  • How pathetic are these ladies? Is this supposed to be desirable? Really?
  • Is this a curse? No? Wow, totally not worth it. Get better wives
  • Happy women = happy home
  • Seriously, just get it wrong so you don’t have to fetch him again, I doubt the goblin can tell
  • Oh my god we get it – pretty women, can we move on please?
  • She’s prime kidnap material – oh silly girl, playing hide and seek!
  • Crying all night isn’t going to help
  • Can any of these people handle life on their own? God, get over it
  • I’m going to find her by being spiritual enough to see her – yeah, that makes sense
  • I’m summer, rawr
  • Everything is sad because he is sad
  • I can feed him because he’s holy – wow, shallow much?
  • This is a complicated set of events
  • Is pilgrimage just what you do when life sucks?
  • Death couldn’t decide? Really?
  • Huh, didn’t expect that – good answer, king
  • Dangit, stupid Goblin stop running
  • These names are great
  • Good for you girl
  • Sneaky man = thief
  • What?
  • Yeah, how could you not see that was a trap
  • Wait, elephants? Where did they come from?
  • Berserker can’t stand up to science, apparently
  • Wait, that sounds as stupid as Juliet
  • Oh wow, that’s a great answer – go girl
  • Oh he’s alive again, Imma make him a general – odd ending
  • I’m pretty sure laughing and crying at the same time is due to hysteria
  • No, just gag that stupid goblin already
  • … what? How does that make sense?
  • Wow, way to butter up there buddy
  • Because that sounds like such a good idea
  • How can it be virtuous if by coming out she shows she isn’t virtuous?
  • Wow, a king who can say no – I am majorly impressed
  • Actions of devoted men are blameless? Right, try that again when applied to Crusaders and Nazis.
  • Maybe he got bored of her, idk
  • Oh, that’s only to be expected due to his station – the king has no such limitations and so is better
  • This guy’s incorrigible – story time!
  • Hah, lousy kids get out of my house! Lazy children
  • Dead people are happy, but I got saved, darn
  • Wow, that’s a circular argument
  • How is setting yourself on fire any better?
  • Zombies – BAD does no one get this?
  • Does no one think in these tales?
  • No, I’m pretty sure they died just because they were stupid
  • Why do you have to point out the curse again?
  • Lemme try this one more time – your flowery speech isn’t fooling any one
  • Of course the man’s near-perfect
  • More perfect people, yay boring
  • I thought you were supposed to burn it
  • Uh, eaten by jackles sounds bad to be
  • It’s called mourning, jerks
  • That’s the best description of veins I’ve ever heard
  • Go away old man!
  • Wait, why did he do that? Cuz the kid was rude?
  • He’s got to go through puberty again – that has to suck
  • Pretty sure that wasn’t the reason – immortality is a good motivator
  • Why is the king not dismayed? Is he just that cocky?
  • Ugh, you haven’t given up yet? Okay, last try!
  • Of course he was the best of the best – not one person hasn’t been in these tales
  • Oh look, evil people! What a rarity!
  • Robber-men who killed and robbed – like we couldn’t figure that out ourselves
  • That’s a nice name – wait not nice dude
  • Okay, that might be my new favorite rhyme
  • Because robbers can’t be well dressed
  • Ok, delicacy of these women is getting ridiculous
  • I don’t know, be a window queen and rule with an iron fist?
  • Well, that was a surprise.
  • Because the king is stumped, the Goblin is going to give his power to the king, and not the monk. Okay….
  • Oh, monk is bad, okay then
  • Why didn’t he just grab any old corpse and summon the goblin into it like he is now? Why go through all that trouble?
  • EW – WORSHIP NOT WANTED
  • Oh look, Jareth origin story
  • Hear a puzzle-story, get free from sin – could come in handy
  • What the crap did I just read?
  • Thank God it’s over
*Achilles is the most over-emotional wreck EVER. Not kidding, he spends the majority of the Iliad sobbing his eyes out and throwing temper tantrums. 

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