Week 14 Reading Diary: Kalevala: Vainamoinen

Reading Diary - Kalevala: Vainamoinen

• Joukahainen and Väinämöinen
• Are the songs how they do magic?
• OMG, it’d be fun to do a nerd version of this listing of facts
• Star Trek vs Star Wars, lol
• or original vs reboot
• J sounds like he’s reading off an encyclopedia for dummies
• This is probably a big teaching song so kids can learn their history
• story idea - bard school, kid asks why they sing this one
• Songs are how they do magic - neat
• Seriously, what do you offer a mage who can obviously do anything he wants with a little magic?
• Good God, you can just promise your sister to save your own life? Ugh, men!
• Okay this girl is vain and stupid, Momma’s got the right idea
• Väinämöinen and Aino
• Random voice asks for adoration, I would have run too
• Probably wouldn’t have sobbed all day about it, though
• This girl is ridiculous - if you have to have an arranged marriage, an old guy who will die soon to leave you a wealthy widow is ideal
• …. she killed herself because of this. Brat.
• “Since I heard the cuckoo calling” sounds like a great title for something
• Väinämöinen Goes Fishing*
• fishing for a bride, that’s a new one
• She… certainly changed her tune quick. Guess being a fish teaches you life lessons (or she finally got the brat slapped out)
• The only people with sense in this epic are the mothers
• Joukahainen’s Revenge
• You’re gonna try this again? Really?
• Singing for a good shot is a funny notion, but doesn’t appear to have worked
• Don’t brag - gosh you sound like Paris right now
• Paris basically shots people on accident while hiding behind a pillar then jumps out and goes ‘hah! I hit you! Got you sucka!’ That’s why he manages to kill Achilles - he’s a bad shot who gets lucky and hits the only vulnerable part on Achilles
• Väinämöinen and the Mistress of Pohjola
• What happened to all-powerful mage? Like dude, call fire from heaven or make sea turtles carry you or something!
• Oh no, not the plot-point eagles!
• Oh God more crying. Why do epics always have such large amounts of sobbing?
• Aren’t you a mage? Do a Point-Me!!!
• Oh how the tables have turned
• Also, why do you want to go back? Things weren’t going so well there
• I feel a shield of [insert hero] ekphrasis coming on here
• Forging the Sampo
• Oh look he can do magic again. Is it a local thing?
• …. you never saw the daughter. Excuse me sir, I’m calling bulshit
• Golden girdles sound painful
• If his is the only smithy around, he’ll never be out of business
• That sounds like a very dangerous workplace
• Did he get the girl? Did he not? Is that what the next one’s about?

Week 13 Reading Diary: Russian Folktales

Reading Diary - Russian Folktales

• The Dead Mother
• Did the babe die because he couldn’t get real nourishment, or was it a ‘you saw me so now the benefits are null and void’ type thing?
• The Treasure
• That is fantastic
• write a story about why people don’t wear goatskins, perhaps?
• The Bad Wife
• The Three Copecks
• Like, I think you need more than mystical old men and a proclamation to be man and wife
• The Miser
• sure an interesting way to get out of paying a debt
• The Water Snake
• Reminds me slightly of The Frog Prince, but only at the start
• Friday
• Mother Friday will punish you for working on the weekend? Oh, I am SO using that excuse from now on :D
• Wednesday
• The Leshy
• Story idea: love story instead of kidnapping?
• Dnieper, Volga, and Dvina
• People turning into rivers was a common thing? Like, really?
• Emilian the Fool*
• ……. is this what happens when Russian storytellers have an acid trip?
• The Witch Girl
• The Headless Princess
• The kings are always really generous in these things, wonder what it would sound like if they weren’t?
• The Warlock
• ‘If you outwit my cunning, you’ll gain all my riches!’
• ‘But the game is you trying to kill me.’
• ‘And?’
• ‘....... this is so not fair. You’re a terrible dad.’
• The Fox Physician
• The Fiddler in Hell
• Well the Devil Went Down to Georgia
• The Two Friends
• Wow, that’s a crap friend
• The Shroud
• Hair is a really odd thing to leave
• The Coffin-Lid
• The Two Corpses
• Oh look, talking zombies
• ….. only wizards come back from the dead?
• The Dog and the Corpse
• dogs hold grudges
• The Soldier and the Vampire
• …. Vampires make boots?
• and are apparently stupid
• this story is great

Week 12 Reading Diary: Celtic Tales

Reading Diary - Celtic Tales

• Connla and the Fairy Maiden
• There is totally an Arthurian tale like this
• The Field of Boliauns
• never trust a leprechaun
• The Horned Women
• why is water always so helpful? What if it was the villain?
• The Shepherd of Myddvai
• So a tap qualifies as a blow? Wonder what they’d think of Vikings and Spartans
• The Sprightly Tailor
• almost sounds like the set-up for a hustle/con
• Munachar and Manachar
• Gold-Tree and Silver-Tree*
• King O’Toole and his Goose
• The Shee An Gannon and the Gruagach Gaire
• Beth Gellert
• well, you know what they say about assuming
• also, the whole ‘I’ll show how sorry I am by making you a large memorial’ thing is kinda ridiculous
• The Tale of Ivan
• Andrew Coffey
• very reminiscent of The Fall of the House of Usher
• Brewery of Eggshells
• wonder how weird those kids are going to be after living in Fairy City for so long

Week 11 Reading Diary: Faerie Queen

Reading Diary - Faerie Queen - Britomart

• Sir Guyon
• Arthur agreed to let Guyon do it without a fight? Wow
• So, no one’s out looking for Britomart? Like, at all?
• How Britomart Fought with Six Knights
• thank God it didn’t go on about her looks for five pages like Arthurian Romance is wont to do
• Intends no evil, but certainly isn’t fighting it either, less she trusts Arthur and Guyon to handle it
• And wove, twue wove
• How it Fared with Britomart in Castle Joyous
• I think this lady has a reverse harem
• The Magic Mirror
• That’s right girl, down with the system!
• These people are always “the most renowned”
• Merlin!! Woo!!!
• Haha, Merlin has a Sneakoscope
• Achilles’ arms? Please tell me there’s no long rambling speech about shields
• Only a sentence, good
• The Cave of the Magician Merlin
• “No I’ll never be happy again! I’m SO IN LOVE!” :( Grow up kid
• “I am Dragoon! The Great!” (this is from the great TV show Merlin, when he pretends to be an old sorcerer to get Arthur out of a jam)
• I love Merlin, so much - never try to trick him, doesn’t ever end well
• They’re going to fight side by side? Awesome :)
• Britomart’s Quest
• Wait I thought it was Achilles’ armor?
• God why is everyone so dramatic, jeez
• The Castle of the Churl Malbecco
• How Britomart Walked through Fire*
• She slays a freaking dragon - awesome!
• Be bold? Seriously stupid it’s not THAT hard
• The Enchanted Chamber
• Is this gonna be like the beginning of Kingdom Hearts when you pick between the sword, shield, and wand?
• A Wicked Enchanter
• Strange Meetings
• Once again, so dramatic
• The Golden Girdle
• Good going girl, you just punched your future man in the face
• The False Florimell
• Huh, Florimell won anyway, odd
• The House of Care
• They keep meeting incarnations of concepts
• I know this feeling - my neighbors are so loud it’s ridiculous
• Two Knights
• Shame! Shame! Shame!
• Lots of Shame being flung around here
• It’s a good thing his arm knows what’s up, at least
• Well, Beauty works well for people in Arthurian Romance, if nowhere else
• Thankfully Glauce can keep her head in a crisis
• How Britomart Ended her Quest

Because it's a lot of fun and I love this show, here's a vid of fun Merlin moments from BBC's Merlin.