Week 13 Essay: Do Vampires Have Qualifications?

It’s been interesting reading these folktales and seeing how different cultures describe their undead. Like, for this week’s reading it was being a warlock. The stories talked of vampires as being dead warlocks who pop out to do evil deeds. They killed people, yes, but generally did not drink blood (or eat them - so not zombies either) or flee from sunlight, garlic, etc. so do they qualify as vampires? Is it just a name, or do they have to qualify? What are those qualifications? Do they vary place to place?

Considering the evidence (I have quite an extensive list since I got really into vamps during eleventh grade - I’ve got more than I thought, actually) I can only conclude it varies. I mean, looking at disposal alone can bring about that conclusion! We’re used to a wooden stake through the heart. In Bram Stoker’s Dracula it was actually a wooden stake in the heart (had to stay there, but it mainly immobilized the vamp, not killed it), cut off the head, stuff garlic in it’s mouth, and place it between the legs when burying the body. In Nigeria there are no stakes or garlic involved - you killed a vampire by driving a nail through it’s left temple. Others have you burn the body and scatter the ashes (Anne Rice did it first Twilighters) or get it in sunlight (even though modern media doesn’t like this one because it severely limits your main character’s options), place metal over the eyelids, use silver bullets (even though it’s more commonly associated with werewolves, it is the common lore of some vampire tales), or even as simple as placing a lemon on the mouth of the corpse for a suspected vampire.

I told you it was an extensive list.

So really, who’s to say you can’t claim it as a vampire? The Russian folktales have them all former warlocks - okay great. They are killed by the cross and silver - sure! As long as they are a dead body that moves around as a conscious, animate being and doesn’t wander aimlessly devouring flesh (therefore being a zombie) I’m pretty sure you can call it a vampire. 

Unless it sparkles. Then it’s a fairy.

(Snape telling it like it is. I found it here)

(20 points if you got the reference)

Week 3 Essay: Where's the MEAT?

For this week’s reading I did the second unit for Ovid. The first part of this section dealt with Pluto and Proserpine, and it seemed a little stunted. Then again, Ovid does take the stance of it being a rape, and so the myth isn’t as full as it is in the Greek. In the Greek Demeter goes off and takes on a surrogate child in her grief, and Persephone is in the Underworld for quite a long time before Demeter finally demands her back. Plus, Hades makes the deal with Zeus before any ‘abduction’ happens, so he did technically go through the proper channels (for the day, anyway). Ovid’s taking a certain stance on the matter so it makes sense, but it takes away from the richness of the myth.

The second part of this unit was a collection of several myths, and it was neat to see some you don’t often hear of mixed in with the more common. They had Minerva and Arachne, taking the opinion that Arachne won which isn’t really the popular way of telling the tale; Niobe’s challenge of Leto, which I had never heard of until I took a class on Classical Mythology last year; Marsyas, which I hadn’t heard of until that class either; the bit on Latona and the Lycians I have never read before so that was really interesting; I had heard of Procne and Philomela, but it isn’t a highly popular tale so it was still mostly new to me. Although with all these new tales I would have appreciated some more background information, or links to wikipedia pages.

Likewise I thought the last portion didn’t have nearly enough context for the story. Ovid is telling lots of commonly known tales, especially Jason and the Argonauts (who were basically the Avengers of their day). But not most people know these tales now, and Medea and Jason are such a huge myth and have such a large impact on each other that it seemed odd to just have the one episode without any real context besides an “oh, he’s on a quest and she’s the daughter of the dude he wants to steal from.” Jason is such a fascinating bit of classic mythology, and I would have enjoyed seeing more of him.

Overall I enjoyed this unit, but just wanted more context to go along with the stories. They’ve all got such great depth, and Ovid just kind of glances over them to get to the parts he wants to tell and then skips the rest as he jumps around. I'm nosy - I want to know all the juicy details and get into the real meat of the story. Ovid isn't concerned about that because he just assumes everyone already knows the tales. Guess it’s no wonder why Virgil ended up writing the Roman equivalent of the Bible even though Ovid lobbied really hard to get the job, is it?

(Just something fun - it's Avengers so it totally fits :P

source - gif maker)

Storytelling for Week 3: Jason's Guide to Life

(Medea as played by Maria Callas)

She was lovely - a gift straight from Juno, had to be. Jason had never seen a more lovely individual. The other Argonauts told him to beware, to stay away. She was the daughter of the king who held these tests after all, to get the fleece he would have to trick her father. But she was so lovely.

So, Jason was wandering the garden to clear his head. It helped to get away from things a while and just think - hard to do with a beautiful woman in front of you. They were the downfall of many a hero before, and Jason was resolved not to be like them. He had the blessings of Juno herself! He had to be better than those other men.

Of course, plans always went better when the object of temptation didn’t bump right into you, send you sprawling on your back like an idiot, and then blush prettily. By Jove, he was supposed to be avoiding her! This wasn’t working! But being nice never hurt anyone, as his mother often said, and so Jason popped right back up with a sigh and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry miss, here let me help you up.”

Too late he realized what a bad idea this was - her hand was warm and soft in his and Jason never wanted to let go. Plus, pulling someone to their feet generally meant pulling them closer to yourself and the proximity wasn’t doing his resolution any favors. And then Juno was doing that thing again, taking over and putting words in his mouth that he didn’t want to speak, so Jason heard himself begging for help like an idiot and promising marriage in return. Marriage!

Instead of running away like any sensible maiden would, Medea seemed overwhelmed. Jason just knew she was going to start crying and screaming, and he really didn’t need to deal with this right now - thanks ever so much Juno, really - when the princess nodded and agreed.

Jason had to take a moment to absorb that fact. She… agreed?

Apparently, she’d felt Cupid’s pesky, annoying, stupid arrows too, and while knowing what it meant promised to help if he kept his vow.

Well, she was lovely. Plus Jason had no idea how he was getting out of this alive otherwise, so he vowed on every god he could think of and she told him the secrets to succeeding in the three tasks, as well as gave him the herbs he’d need for it. She was beautiful, and conniving, and smart! No one, not that jerk Hercules (who could never be bothered to stick around and help out like a useful person), nor Achilles, nor Perseus, nor any other hero were ever as lucky as he!

Medea left to perform her part of the bargain, and Jason couldn’t help but to watch her go with a stupid grin on his face. Gods above, she was perfect!

“Now didn’t I tell you not to worry, my little hero?” came the warm voice of his goddess.

Jason turned, still unable to get the grin off his face. Juno stood underneath a grove tree, arms crossed and that special smile only he ever saw playing about her lips. “My wonderful Juno,” he breathed in a prayer, “you are truly the most gracious of all heaven’s host.”

Juno’s smile deepened, and she winked one brilliant eye at him. “Make a good husband to her, and your troubles will be few. Hecate's daughter and my blessings will win you a throne.” So stated she faded into the winds, and Jason kept smiling all the way back to his cabin, humming lightly as he offered up libations to mighty Juno.

His mother was right - being kind to women made life easy.

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Notes: So I read Ovid 2 and decided to base this mainly in Jason and the Golden Fleece. I wanted to explore his side of things and just have a bit of fun with the character. I drew in the fact that Jason got started on this road by helping an old woman cross a stream. The old lady turns out to be Juno, and because he helped her out she becomes his champion and basically ensures that Jason gets everything he could ever want. I always interpreted her as the major driving force in the relationship, so I depicted her being in control here (taking over his voice, showing up to give him advice, things like that). It's a much gentler side to Juno than normally seen in Roman mythos, and I liked the odd relationship that developed between these two in this tale. Not bad for a quick little drabble, I'd say.

Bib: Metamorphoses by Ovid (8 AD). Web Source.

Image: Pic of Maria Callas playing Medea in the 1969 adaption of Medea by Pier Paolo Pasolini. Web source.

Week 3 Reading Diary

Reading Diary Week 3 – Ovid 2

• Pretty sure Cerses didn’t give you laws
•  Giant being held down almost sounds like Loki chained to the rock as punishment with venom dripping in his eyes
• See? Pluto only cares about what goes on affecting his underworld
• Pretty sure Venus is capable of doing this on her own – she certainly did with Dido
• Love is swift as kidnapping? Ovid, you have issues
• People didn’t start marrying for love till modern times. Plus, he’s under Venus’ spell and no one is really gonna blame him for that
• Pretty sure that’s not how it happened in the Greek
• No seriously, Ceres has a problem – I can’t find my daughter, no one shall eat ever again! – separation anxiety is strong in this one
• Don’t feign ignorance, Jupiter, you allowed this match in the Greek
• Can you get nothing right Ovid?
• So… you can do bad only if no one sees?
• Huh, that’s a new thing to the siren origin myth.
• OMG, a peasant is skillful? Gasp, what shame!
• That’s never a good idea, what are you doing?
• That’s an awesome bargain, take it.
• I wonder if this is the one where Arachne beats Minerva.
• Oh look, long descriptive passage – definitely epic poetry
• Look, the Roman’s couldn’t decide what name to call Pallas either
• Wait Saturn did what? Man, the parallels between him and Loki keep growing
• Oh, she won. Probably wasn’t a good idea to flaunt the gods mistakes in her face though
• Wait, that’s different. I’m gonna hang myself, good idea kid, but Pallas apparently thinks living as a spider is a great reward. No wonder Greeks were pessimists
• Pride – never a good thing, especially when boasting and gods are combined
• You might not wanna brag about being descended from titans and people who are stuck in Tartarus for all eternity
• Oh, oh no, don’t say that. Never challenge your ability to be taken down several pegs – it normally ends in a blood bath
• Wow twins, bloodthirsty much? Then again not surprising, it is Diana.
• Why are they going in a circle?
• Oh don’t name your kid Tantalus – you do know that man is punished with eternal torture in one of the three worst punishments in Tartarus right?
• Wait you’re astounded? How is this surprising? DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW YOUR OWN MYTHS?
• Yay crying stature, cuz those aren’t creepy at all.
• Woman with kids dying of thirst – oh no, you can’t drink here. I get being scared of Juno but seriously, these men are jerks
• Huh, a very Dante-like punishment. It’s the bog of wrath
• Yep, challenging gods is NOT a good idea
• Uh-oh, that’s not good. The furies are bad news
• Oh there’s a kid now? Crap
• Rape then war, great idea
• Nah, I’m okay with not being pretty. It only ever gets you into trouble
• Why didn’t she go to Philomela if dad is so heartbroken at her being gone?
• She vows to tell gods and brooks? Should have killed her.
• Uh-oh, it’s Bacchus time. ‘Savage king’ is probably gonna get ripped to shreds
• Okay, feeding people’s kids to them is way too common a theme in Greco-Roman myth for my liking
• They all become birds? Okay then…
• Yay Jason! He’s a jerk, but the only hero Juno ever liked. It pays to be nice to the queen of gods
• I love Medea, she’s so eloquent and down to earth
• Hah, she beat Cupid! Go girl!
• There’s a reason Jason is so popular
• He did marry her at least, that puts Jason one up on the others
• Well, she’s certainly powerful. Raising the dead and all
• Give him 40 more years by slitting his throat, okay then
• Ah, there’s a Greek drama about this one. Very good, actually
• Seriously, did Jason think spurning the woman who spelled his way to victory could possibly be a good idea? Idiot