But never quite like this.
Once long ago there was a fair kingdom. This kingdom was placed upon the border of another great, sprawling kingdom. Both kingdoms were alike in wealth, dress, and manner, so of course they heartily disapproved of each other. Many small trifles were taken as great offences and held against the neighboring kingdom, and then one of real consequence arose. The Kingdom of Green accused the Kingdom of Grey for the theft of their princess. This had actually happened many years ago and was the fault of a witch and her tasty garden, but no one cared much for reason at this point. A spider being trampled would have been cause enough to start a war. And the two kingdoms went to it with reckless abandon.
This princess - you may all be quite familiar with her general tale by now - lived alone in the top of a tall tower. The witch had long since tripped on a root and fell to her death, but nobody thinks that makes the tale very interesting and so conveniently ignore it.
Now a starving peasant boy had been wandering far from home when he heard the distressed cries of the young princess. He stood below her window and asked what the matter was so sweetly that the princess immediately let him up into the tower by way of the rope ladder she had tucked away and told him all of her woes. The peasant immediately vowed to help her, seeing as how he had run from a burned down home to make his fortune as a thief. If she allowed him to hide in the tower with her, he would share the spoils and ensure she would never want again. The bargain was struck, for as young hearts are wont to do, the two orphans found themselves being drawn close by the strings of love.
One day after several months had passed, a prince came upon the tower. Being a prince and raised on such tales of maidens needing rescue he naturally decided to investigate. He could hear a sweet song being sung, and decided to hide himself nearby to see how he might approach the tower.
An hour later the thief came by, a satchel of food slung over his shoulders. He took a curious looking pipe out from his belt and placed it to his lips. To the prince’s shock, a voice issued forth from the pipe and sang:
“Darl’n, darl’n, sen’ down rope,
Sen’ down rope, I’m waitin’ for ya!”
Needless to say, the country pipe was jarring on the prince’s highly sensible ears. Yet the pain was easy to ignore as the prince watched a rope descend, which the green-clad thief then used to greet the fair maiden leaning out the window.
The prince saw this maiden and decided she must be a princess, and he must have her to wife. Well, if nothing else he wasn’t entirely wrong.
The prince left to his kingdom and gathered together the chief mages, tasking them to recreate the magic pipe. Time after time the best workers of magic in the land brought to him pipes more beautiful than the last, and time after time the song played was incorrect. Th royal mages could not understand why their prince would want a pipe that sang in such an inelegant drawl. Too focused on flattery and perfection, they missed what the song was supposed to play. Just as the prince began to despair, a mage from the enemy kingdom was brought in. The prince demanded the man create this pipe perfectly, or else his life were forfeit.
With such motivation, who could fail? The mage created the pipe just as the prince had asked, and this time when played the correct words tumbled out. Overjoyed, the prince not only issued pardon for the mage but gave him a position in the royal court. Ignorant of all protests at such action the prince rushed for his horse and immediately galloped into the forest where he had found the tower. Today he would win his lady love!
Perhaps he would have, for who can ignore the charms of a prince? Yet the kingdom was at war and food was getting scarce. The princess, however, did not want for any pleasure as her young rogue found thieving quite profitable under such circumstances and kept her and the orphans she tended to gather like a duck gathers chicks quite well fed. Knowing any day the war could turn its sights even on the isolated tower made the two lovers cautious and watchful.
So when the prince stood below the tower and played his pipe with the identical tune, the princess lowered the rope after a quick look and a pause to grab a large dagger.
The thief happened to be close at hand, and when he saw the prince going up the side of the tower cried out with his own voice, “Cut the rope, darl’n, cut the rope!”
Immediately the princess sliced the rope apart, and the advancing prince fell to his death. The thief dragged the body away to throw it in the nearby stream and then returned back to the tower. The princess let him up and the two devised a system of mirrors so she could see who was climbing the tower.
And so they lived happily ever after.
And for these two, that part is actually true.
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Notes: I thought it would be really funny to have Robin Hood and Rapunzel shack up together, so sue me. If you hadn't yet noticed, medieval fantasy is kinda my go-to. The original story I used was House in the Air, and it reminded me a lot of Rapunzel. As I'm running out of inspiration, I went for it. Same general plot line, just more fantastical.
Bib: Jamaica Anansi Stories by Martha Warren Beckwith (1924). Web source.
Image Info: Rapunzel illustration from 1961 children's book. Web source.
